Published on March 19th, 2016 | by Pro Wrestling Stories0
DANIEL BRYAN’s Absurd Friendship with KANE and Ribbing the Big Red Monster
“Exposing Taints to the Sun”
Our site is loaded with stories ranging from the chilling details behind unfortunate deaths in the ring and murders outside of the ring to practical jokes, to phenoms fearing cucumbers and even limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ son of a guns exposing and swinging their genitalia 30,000 feet up in the air. We cover everything from sordid eye-witness testimonies to controversies to the downright funny circumstances that happen once the cameras stop rolling. Once in a while, though, it is good to take a step back and enjoy a read which leaves a smile on your face, which is what we intend to do with today’s story.
Today’s installment takes a look at the absurd friendship between Daniel Bryan and Kane. These stories come from Daniel Bryan’s highly recommended autobiography, Yes!: My Improbable Journey to the Main Event of WrestleMania. If you haven’t grabbed a copy of this book already, we highly suggest you do as it is loaded with innocent and funny musings like the ones you’ll read today.
“Kane’s real name is Glenn, and I’ll refer to him as such from now on, because calling him Kane now feels really weird. Glenn is someone who is almost universally respected in the locker room. He debuted as the Undertaker ’s evil younger brother Kane in 1997, though he wrestled previously in WWE as the “fake” Diesel doppelganger of the original character portrayed by Kevin Nash, and Isaac Yankem even before that. I graduated from high school in 1999, so it was my junior year when Kane first appeared in WWE, and a veteran like Glenn could be intimidating to young new guys coming in, like me. He’s also relatively quiet except with his closer friends, so I didn’t get to know him very well until we started working together. Once we did, though, I was able to see a whole different side to him.
The two of us are a pretty absurd duo, and the first time we really started joking around was over a pretty absurd premise. I was reading a book by Mantak Chia called Awaken Healing Energy Through the Tao: The Taoist Secret of Circulating Internal Power. It’s a long story, but I don’t sleep well, and at the time I really lacked energy. I could feel it catching up to me in my body, so I was reading this book that talked about taking your sexual energy up your chakras and then back down, circulating the energy to help you heal and be more vibrant. It’s a very Eastern way of thinking. In order for it to work, you have to stop ejaculating, which, as you can imagine, makes most people stop reading right away. But not me; I plowed through the information, some of it interesting and some of it ridiculous. I was showing the book to someone in the locker room when Glenn came in, and we got him involved in the discussion. At first he was put off by the conversation entirely, but soon he started to enjoy the ridiculousness of it. He grabbed the book and started thumbing through it, then immediately stopped at a little drawing of a naked man lying down and a sun, along with an arrow that went from the sun to the man’s perineum (otherwise known as the “taint”). The suggestion was essentially that to increase your sexual energy and, therefore, overall energy, you should expose your perineum to the sun. It was the most outlandish idea Glenn had heard in a long time, but for some reason he couldn’t stop talking about it. And neither could I. The first bond I formed with this towering man who had participated in some of the most twisted scenes in WWE history was based on the idea of us tanning our taints.”