Pro Wrestling Stories

Published on December 12th, 2015 | by Pro Wrestling Stories

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THE BRITISH BULLDOGS: The Locker Room’s Cruelest Bullies

Roddy Piper and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts shoot on this iconic tag team’s often sickening pranks

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The British Bulldogs Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid with poor Matilda (1988 Wrestlemania IV promo shoot)

The British Bulldogs Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid were known back in the day for their hijinks in and out of the ring. Over the years, a folklore has followed their name. From pulling ribs and practical jokes on fellow wrestlers to being stiff in the ring, they had a tendency to take things too far and cross over from humor into just plain cruelty.

In March of 2015, before his untimely death, Roddy Piper had Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts for a two-part interview on his show, Piper’s Pit. Having seen their share of debauchery and insane adventures on the road over the years, they shared a few of these tales on the show – most of which were told to fans for the first time.

In this installment of Pro Wrestling Stories, we will focus in on the recounts revolving around The British Bulldogs and their poor dog, Matilda.

May this be a lesson learned for any current professional wrestlers out there: Do not take your animal on the road! 

**This story comes with a NSFW warning. Some colorful language follows. This is also not one for the animal lovers.

JAKE ‘THE SNAKE’ ROBERTS:

“I have to tell you what I did to Matilda, dude. I did a bad thing to Matilda.”

RODDY PIPER:

“What did you do?”

JAKE: 

“Well, Davey Boy was a dick, you know?”

PIPER:

“Yeah, so was the Dynamite Kid.”

JAKE:

“Dynamite, he let Davey Boy stir him. Davey Boy was a shit creator and Dynamite was the hammer that just came in and fucking ended it because Davey Boy wasn’t violent. This is the reason why Dynamite got cold-cocked. Davey Boy started his shit and got going and Dynamite would make the corner and get blasted.”

PIPER:

“He got taken out?”

JAKE:

“Yeah man, got his fucking teeth knocked out!”

PIPER:

“Swift hand!”

JAKE:

“Davey Boy would go stir shit then he would go tell Dynamite and would say, ‘Do you know what they said about you?'”

PIPER: 

“You’re kidding?”

JAKE:

“Oh, no, no. He was a real badass piece of shit man. So what happened was I walked into the locker room one night and caught Davey Boy, who did not smoke, getting lit cigarettes from Dynamite and throwing them inside the snake bag. So the snake would be pissed off and bite me. Real funny!

PIPER:

“Not funny.”

JAKE: 

“So I said, ‘Okay, motherfuckers…’

A couple nights later, and I’m not the type of guy that would do revenge [laughs], but I did see a hungry dog! You know those hot dogs at a wrestling show? Not the best thing to feed an animal. Especially seven or eight of them with chili! It looked like chocolate to me, but it may have been Ex-Lax! I loaded that motherfucker up.

And then I timed this shit. They took it back to the hotel and the dog was moaning like, ‘wooo-oo wooo-oo.’  She wanted to go outside, man! Do you think they wanted to take her outside? ‘Fuck that fucking dog!’ They’re going to the bar! I go over to the room and I go knock-knock-knock and I hear the dog go, ‘ARR-ARR!! [splat]’ I hear her spray that shit. And I let her calm down. ‘ARR-ARR! [splat]’ Then I go back to the door and hammer on it again. ‘ARR-ARR-ARR! [splat] ooo-ooo-oooo-oooooo.’ She’s coating the whole room with shit!

PIPER:

[Laughing hysterically throughout] Nasty!

JAKE:

“Oh yeah, it was great, man. I mean I’m outside the door holding in laughter. I heard them come in about 2 o’clock. [In Davey Boy’s voice] ‘Fookin’ motherfookin’ dog, you fookin’ piece of shit!’ 

PIPER:

“They had no idea?”

JAKE:

“She had shit all over the fucking beds. They had no idea.”

PIPER:

[Laughing] “That’s brilliant, that’s brilliant. It’s a fucking pro.”

britishbulldogs

Poor, poor Matilda.

JAKE:

“Duh! You know, Fuji…”

PIPER:

“Fuji, brother! We are both a graduate of the School of Fuji!”

JAKE:

“I respect him mostly! I never fucked with anybody unless they fucked with me. I didn’t have time for it.”

PIPER:

“I didn’t like that. And you know what? I’m not a ribber.”

JAKE:

“No.”

PIPER:

“I don’t like it. I’m doing business. And please don’t touch my stuff.”

JAKE:

“Don’t ever fuck with my shit, yeah.”

PIPER:

“I don’t do that. And you’re right, I didn’t have time for it. And if I had some time, I would rather have sat down with my brother, you,  and talked and laughed or whatever.”

JAKE:

“Yeah, man. But the mean bullshit that some of those guys did… Those two guys were the worst.

I remember that poor kid in Pennsylvania, man. They were shooting him with air and shooting him with steroids and stuff – a mentally retarded kid.”

PIPER:

“Those guys, ah!”

JAKE:

[with anger] “The fucking bullshit, man.”

PIPER:

“That’s right.”

JAKE:

“Giving him Halcions and stuff. That type of shit was just wrong. It’s just wrong.

I mean, I’ll admit, it was pretty funny when they Halcion’ed fucking Outback Jack.

PIPER:

[laughing] “In LA?”

JAKE:

“Yes. He was masturbating on the phone to Stu!” [laughing]

PIPER:

[laughing] “Alright, let’s start from the beginning here.”

JAKE:

“It was actually San Fransisco.”

PIPER:

“Was it Frisco?”

JAKE:

“Yeah, in the Marriott.

Alright, so Outback Jack, he kind of asked for it. He was like, ‘I can fucking out drink any Englishman under the table!'”

PIPER:

“That Australian…”

JAKE: 

“Alright, now here you go, you stupid bitch. You had to say that. Why?

So here they go to the bar. Then, of course, he turned his head. Shouldn’t do that! [singing] Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a release it is! Halcions.

The next thing, they’re in the room, [Outback Jack’s] buck naked, he thinks he’s talking to his girlfriend in Australia and he’s actually masturbating talking to Stu Hart!”

[both men laughing hysterically]

PIPER:

“Oh, baby Jesus!”

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Outback Jack, not one of Stu Hart’s favorite people! [photo courtesy of onlineworldofwrestling.com]

JAKE:

“And then they told him that his food was ready at the restaurant downstairs and he just walked down there buck ass naked! He didn’t fucking know he didn’t have no clothes on! Yeah, that wasn’t good. They were nice, though. They didn’t take him to jail. They brought him back to his room.

The next morning they found his crocodile head in the parking lot. Davey Boy had cut it off the back of his jacket. You know, why do you do that?”

PIPER:

“Ah, yeah. Even like Halcions and all that, that’s not cool man.”

JAKE:

“What if I had one too many? What about their family? What if I killed some fucking broad?”

PIPER:

“He had family.”

JAKE:

“You know, you don’t do that shit.”

PIPER:

“The Fuji School, it was for defense. Self-defense.”

JAKE:

“Right, right, right.”

PIPER:

“But you know what? They were bullies.”

JAKE: 

“Absolutely. Short guys that had a fucking issue.”

PIPER:

“Yes sir. Napolean.”

JAKE:

“Right.”

PIPER:

“With a little dick.”

JAKE:

“They wanted to be better than everybody else. ‘You motherfuckers couldn’t hold a fucking candle to us!’ They were on fourth match and they didn’t like it.”

PIPER:

“Because they didn’t have the talent to be on last. And that’s the truth.”

JAKE:

“And they were a tag team, so there you go.”

PIPER:

“So uh, Matilda… I know the animal lovers aren’t going to like this.”

JAKE:

“Oh yeah, I feel bad about it, but not real bad.”

PIPER:

“Now Matilda, every time all the guys would come… You know, every time I came from the restaurant, I would have a half a piece of steak and I would feed the dog.”

JAKE:

“Me too!”

PIPER:

[laughing] I’m talking everybody would do that.

JAKE:

“The dog was 400 pounds, man!”

PIPER:

[laughing] And it’s a bulldog with a belly…”

JAKE:

“With its belly hitting the ground man! Don Muraco gets me and we find out that [The British Bulldogs] are going to work a program with the Hart Foundation. And I don’t know how many shots that dog may have received for rabies or….”

PIPER:

[whistling to change the subject]

JAKE:

“Okay, okay.”

PIPER:

“Boosters, booster shots, yes! For the flu and… the dog could probably bench press around 550!”

JAKE:

[laughing] “Yeah, yeah!”

PIPER:

“So I’m with Muraco and I’m going, ‘What are you doing?’ And he goes, ‘Come here, come here. Watch the door.’ And he would sneak Jimmy Hart’s bullhorn. And he’d say, ‘Watch the door!’ So I’m in there with Matilda and  Muraco and I’m holding the door and he would pull it to make it so the sound would go, ‘EEEEEEEEEEEEE!’ Every night for about two weeks.

Now, you know there’s something wrong when you’re in the ring with all the boys and there’s Jimmy Hart. That dog comes in with its belly, like you said, dragging on the ground, and she sees that megaphone and sees him and… BITE!! Jimmy Hart spent the next six months…”

JAKE:

“Trying to save his life!”

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Slick, just another victim of the British Bulldogs! [Photo courtesy of obsessedwithwrestling.com]

JAKE:

“[Matilda] got Slick.”

PIPER:

“She got Slick?

JAKE:

“You didn’t know about that?”

PIPER:

“No!”

JAKE:

“Okay, she got Slick. The dog did not like black people.”

PIPER:

“Gotcha.”

JAKE:

“And she got Slick and Slick fell off the ring and broke his arm. I mean, that was Davey Boy going, ‘Sic ’em!’, you know? It was funny, but it was not nice.”

PIPER:

“It was not nice, no. We thought that Jimmy could escape, but he’s one of the biggest, lazy…”

JAKE:

“Yeah, Jimmy is a little chicken twerp, anyway!”

Matilda gets her revenge on Jimmy Hart and his Megaphone! Saturday Night’s Main Event, May 2nd, 1987. [Photos courtesy of the WWE Network]

Jimmy Hart 1Jimmy Hart 2Jimmy Hart 3Jimmy Hart 4

SOURCE: Piper’s Pit podcast, youtube


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THE BRITISH BULLDOGS: The Locker Room’s Cruelest Bullies

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