"Poor, Matilda." Roddy Piper & Jake 'The Snake' Roberts Shoot on THE BRITISH BULLDOGS - The Locker
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Published on December 12th, 2015 | by Pro Wrestling Stories

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“Poor, Matilda.” Roddy Piper and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts Shoot on THE BRITISH BULLDOGS – The Locker Room’s Cruelest Bullies.

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The British Bulldogs Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid with poor Matilda (1988 Wrestlemania IV promo shoot)

The British Bulldogs Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid were known back in the day for their hijinks in and out of the ring. Over the years, a folklore has followed their name. From pulling ribs and practical jokes on fellow wrestlers to being stiff in the ring, they had a tendency to take things too far and cross over from humor into just plain cruelty.

In March of this year and before his untimely death, Roddy Piper had Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts for a two-part interview on his show, Piper’s Pit. Having seen their share of debauchery and insane adventures on the road over the years, they shared a few of these tales on the show – most of which were told to fans for the first time.

In this installment of Pro Wrestling Stories, we will focus in on the recounts revolving around The British Bulldogs and their poor dog, Matilda.

May this be a lesson learned for any current professional wrestlers out there: Do not take your animal on the road! 

**This story comes with a NSFW warning. Some colorful language follows. This is also not one for the animal lovers.

JAKE ‘THE SNAKE’ ROBERTS:

“I have to tell you what I did to Matilda, dude. I did a bad thing to Matilda.”

RODDY PIPER:

“What did you do?”

JAKE: 

“Well, Davey Boy was a dick, you know?”

PIPER:

“Yeah, so was the Dynamite Kid.”

JAKE:

“Dynamite, he let Davey Boy stir him. Davey Boy was a shit creator and Dynamite was the hammer that just came in and fucking ended it because Davey Boy wasn’t violent. This is the reason why Dynamite got cold-cocked. Davey Boy started his shit and got going and Dynamite would make the corner and get blasted.”

PIPER:

“He got taken out?”

JAKE:

“Yeah man, got his fucking teeth knocked out!”

PIPER:

“Swift hand!”

JAKE:

“Davey Boy would go stir shit then he would go tell Dynamite and would say, “Do you know what they said about you?”

PIPER: 

“You’re kidding?”

JAKE:

“Oh, no, no. He was a real badass piece of shit man. So what happened was I walked into the locker room one night and caught Davey Boy, who did not smoke, getting lit cigarettes from Dynamite and throwing them inside the snake bag. So the snake would be pissed off and bite me. Real funny!

PIPER:

“Not funny.”

JAKE: 

“So I said, ‘Okay, motherfuckers.’ A couple nights later, and I’m not the type of guy that would do revenge [laughs], but I did see a hungry dog! You know those hot dogs at a wrestling show? Not the best thing to feed an animal. Especially seven or eight of them with chili! It looked like chocolate to me, but it may have been Ex-Lax! I loaded that motherfucker up.

And then I timed this shit. They took it back to the hotel and the dog was moaning like, ‘wooo-oo wooo-oo.’  She wanted to go outside, man! Do you think they wanted to take her outside? ‘Fuck that fucking dog!’ They’re going to the bar! I go over to the room and I go knock-knock-knock and I hear the dog go, ‘ARR-ARR!! [splat]’ I hear her spray that shit. And I let her calm down. ‘ARR-ARR! [splat]’ Then I go back to the door and hammer on it again. ‘ARR-ARR-ARR! [splat] ooo-ooo-oooo-oooooo.’ She’s coating the whole room with shit!

PIPER:

[Laughing hysterically throughout] Nasty!

JAKE:

“Oh yeah, it was great, man. I mean I’m outside the door holding in laughter. I heard them come in about 2 o’clock. [In Davey Boy’s voice] ‘Fookin’ motherfookin’ dog, you fookin’ piece of shit!’ 

PIPER:

“They had no idea?”

JAKE:

“She had shit all over the fucking beds. They had no idea.”

PIPER:

[Laughing] “That’s brilliant, that’s brilliant. It’s a fucking pro.”


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