Chris Benoit’s Hidden Life: A Downfall Some Saw Coming

The pro wrestling world still recoils at the name Chris Benoit. While fans debate his erased legacy, those closest to the tragedy carry visceral memories of warning signs buried beneath locker room secrecy. In this harrowing exclusive, WCW voice David Penzer – part of Benoit’s inner circle – reveals never-before-shared details about the couple’s unraveling marriage, the friend who could’ve prevented the massacre, and the moment WWE aired a tribute show to a killer. These aren’t recycled conspiracy theories; they are firsthand accounts from the last people to see the Benoits – Nancy, Daniel, and Chris – alive.

The Collapse of Chris Benoit: And The Insider Who Saw It Coming

David Penzer, WCW’s longtime ring announcer, teamed again with acclaimed wrestling author and historian Guy Evans (NITRO: The Incredible Rise and Inevitable Collapse of Ted Turner’s WCW, co-author of Eric Bischoff’s Grateful) to pull back the curtain on one of professional wrestling’s most infamous crimes and more.

Their new collaboration, Sitting Ringside, Volume 2: The XWF, TNA and Life After Wrestling — following the release of their acclaimed first volume, which detailed Penzer’s unlikely rise as WCW’s ring announcer and his behind-the-scenes role during the most turbulent era in wrestling — chronicles Penzer’s remarkable 23-year journey post-WCW, from co-founding the ill-fated XWF with "Rowdy" Roddy Piper to navigating the chaotic ascent of TNA Wrestling.

However, its most haunting sections analyze the wrestling tragedy that shocked the world, revealing never-before-heard insights beginning with Penzer’s front-row view of Chris Benoit’s downfall.

The Night That Shook Wrestling: A Firsthand Account of the Benoit Tragedy

Pro Wrestling Stories is honored to exclusively share the following unflinching excerpt from Chapter 8 of Sitting Ringside, Volume 2, titled ‘Benoit’ — generously provided by David Penzer and Guy Evans. The book is available now on Amazon, with special bundle options also available at GuyEvans.com.

When I first sat down to write this book, I knew that the horrific subject of Chris Benoit killing his wife, Nancy – and, subsequently, his seven-year-old son, Daniel – would sadly need to be addressed.

I’ll never forget where I was when I first heard about it. It was Monday, June 25th, 2007 – about six o’clock at night – and I was beat after having a pretty exhausting day. I decided to lay down for a nap, but soon, my son Jarrett woke me up with the horrifying news: Dad, I just heard that Chris, Nancy and Daniel are dead. It’s on TV, look…

I’ll be very transparent, open and honest with what was going through my head. I didn’t think to myself, Oh, My God – I wonder what could have happened…

Instead, I thought to myself, I don’t know if Chris killed Nancy, or if Nancy killed Chris, and this is unbelievably horrible…but who killed who first?

Even then, I never had a thought that someone could have broken into their home.

Not even a thought.

Inside the Peachtree City Gang: Isolation and Hidden Dysfunction

Back in the WCW days, Chris and Nancy, along with myself, Johnny Grunge, Steven Regal, Fit Finlay, Dave Taylor and a small cast of other characters (including our wives) comprised the ‘Peachtree City Gang,’ i.e. the group of us who worked for WCW while living in Peachtree City, Georgia (about 30 miles away from downtown Atlanta). As such, I had a unique window into their lives, which most people didn’t have, quite frankly – not unless you were part of our own little social group. As a general rule, Chris and Nancy were very private people, and they wouldn’t socialize as much as some of the others that I mentioned. In time, however, they began isolating themselves even more.

I got to see some odd things. Sometimes when you have a gut feeling, it can be hard to articulate things to other people, but I’ll try my best here. I saw the dysfunction for myself. When Chris and Nancy would come out together, they’d often start to argue with each other, but in an effort to keep things "under wraps," they would sort of whisper to each other in a really tense way. Chris would walk out for a second – and at times take off totally – leaving Nancy to get a ride with someone else. Things like that didn’t exactly point to a perfectly happy relationship, in my book.

With that said, I never saw anything physical take place – and I never even heard of such a thing. That goes for both Nancy’s prior relationship with Kevin Sullivan – and her relationship with Chris.

Now remember, at one time, I had witnessed Nancy and Kevin having some heated verbal altercations, typically while traveling with them on the road. They were having their share of problems before they split up – and Kevin went on to admit that on numerous occasions. There’s one story which comes to mind as a pertinent example.

Back when we were on the road with WCW, there was a time when I ended up – for some bizarre reason – getting Hulk Hogan’s suite at a hotel we were staying at. I can’t remember if Hulk couldn’t make it, or if there was some kind of change of plans, but regardless, I got the Presidential suite instead! I enjoyed my temporarily lavish accommodations, went to ring announce the show, and ended up coming back with Pee Wee Anderson and Bobby Eaton. Once we returned to the hotel, we learned that Kevin and Nancy had gotten into another argument. Apparently, people were threatening to call the police on Kevin.

For the moment, Kevin and Nancy were moved away from each other – they had both been drinking, by the way – and therefore, Pee Wee went and got Nancy. Stay in here, he told her, mentioning that our suite had something like three separate bedrooms. If Kevin shows up, we’ll keep the door shut.

Well, wouldn’t you know something – about an hour later, Kevin somehow figured out where Nancy was, and he was flipped. He almost kicked down the door. Bobby and I were basically hiding under the covers at this point (hey – separate bedrooms, remember), but ultimately, I decided to get up and answer the door.

Look, Kevin said to me, all I wanna know is where my wife is. I don’t know where she is! I’m not gonna bother her – I’ll let it rest for tonight. But don’t fucking lie to me – especially about my god-**** wife.

Now obviously, as most people reading this will know, the whole reason Chris and Nancy got together is because of Kevin "booking his own divorce" – in other words, scripting a storyline where Nancy, in kayfabe, was leaving him for Chris. Well, with truth being stranger than fiction – and art often imitating life – Chris and Nancy got together for real.

In the early stages of that angle – when it was still an angle – there was a time when Kevin and Chris got into a worked ‘shoot fight’ at a bar in New Orleans. They fooled everybody – including the boys – and in the aftermath, Chris and Nancy invited Pee Wee and I to join them at a nearby diner to eat. It was like two in the morning if I remember correctly, and we all got breakfast – you know, that’s kind of what you do when you’ve been out drinking. Anyway, towards the end of our meal – and as we were all thinking about getting an hour’s sleep before hitting the next town – Nancy flagged down one of the waitresses.

Could I order something to go? she asked.

Sure, the waitress said.

I wanna order another breakfast plate, Nancy said, and…do you have any sides of hot sauce?

Sure, the waitress said. They’re in little tiny bottles, is that okay?

That’s fine, said Nancy. Could you put, like, 10 of ‘em in there?

My eyes narrowed a little bit. If I knew anything, I knew that Kevin Sullivan was obsessed with hot sauce – he’d put it on anything.

Just a couple of hours earlier, remember, they had tried to convince us that Nancy was really with Chris.

Once the waitress left the table, I looked over at Nancy.

You just stooged yourself off, I said.

At this point, my suspicions were now confirmed – the thing between Chris and Nancy was clearly still a work. Oh yeah, I thought. Tell us again how you’ve really left Kevin, when you just picked up a bunch of hot sauce to take home to him! Regardless of what I knew, I actually never told anybody – it wasn’t my place to, honestly. Well, okay – Pee Wee and I both talked about it (he was there at the diner, remember), but other than that, we kept our mouths shut.

Ironically, we all soon learned that along the way – after the diner escapade, evidently – the work did become a shoot. Previously, Chris had been living in a townhouse, again in Peachtree City, with his first wife, Martina, who all of us were at least aware of. Lisa interacted a little bit with Martina, but once Benoit left her, she quietly moved back to Calgary. Benoit was weirdly nonchalant about it when he eventually told us: Martina? Oh yeah, she moved away like six months ago.

Like I said, when I talk about my perspective on this issue, I was sort of there for the whole ride.

Johnny Grunge: The Unlikely Lifeline Lost Too Soon

Before I left Peachtree City and moved my family to Tampa, Chris and Nancy had already moved out of the area (as covered in Volume 1 of Sitting Ringside, Chris also made a change of employer, walking out on WCW in January 2000 for the WWF). Together, they purchased a 7500 square foot home in Fayetteville, Georgia – only about ten miles away from Peachtree City – and immediately, they became very elusive. It was like they were off the grid or something. We didn’t even know where they had moved to, honestly – not until they kept showing that house (it was more like a compound, really) on the news footage over and over again. We had no idea they lived behind these huge gates, with the outside world far, far away. They had moved – okay, that’s fine – but they stopped communicating with any of us.

There was just one exception to that rule: Johnny Grunge.

Johnny was the one person that Chris and Nancy both felt comfortable talking to. They had each gotten to know Grunge earlier in the business – Nancy in ECW, Chris in WCW – and while there may have been some overlap there, they basically all became friends separately, as in: before Chris and Nancy were an item. Furthermore, and as I’ve said before, Grunge was basically the ultimate lovable fuckup. He was unassuming – he didn’t judge them – and it was mostly because of one simple reason. He didn’t have his shit together either!

Grunge was never going to think anything bad about the Benoit’s, and in that sense, he provided each of them with an outlet for their respective problems. It was sort of like, I’m Johnny Grunge – who am I to judge? That’s not to paint Grunge as a terrible guy, by the way – he was absolutely anything but.

It’s also important to understand this: Chris, and particularly so in the relationship, was extremely protective of his image – even with regard to how we, his friends, may or may not have perceived him. He was a WWE Superstar™, after all, and he couldn’t let anyone know that sometimes, he may have experienced a human moment or two.

Chris liked pulling ribs on guys, and he liked talking about the wrestling business, but he never talked about himself or his family. He couldn’t allow anyone – other than Grunge – to think that he was struggling, or that his relationship had been going through its issues. For her part, Nancy – while I think she gave less of a shit if someone found out about her turbulent marriage – was actually very quiet, and very introverted away from the camera. With that being said, she loved to laugh and could rib with almost anybody. She loved telling and hearing stories that may or may not be "appropriate" today, let’s say. She was a strikingly beautiful woman, but she was one of the boys for sure.

In any event, each of them trusted Grunge, but here’s the ironic part. After they got to telling him about all of the latest chaos in their relationship, he would soon call me up and tell me everything. As we were friends, Grunge and I would catch up every three or four weeks – I really cared for the guy, actually, and I was worried about his excessive drug use – but invariably, the subject of Chris and Nancy always reared its head. To be clear, Grunge never told me that they were hitting each other – or anything like that – but it was more like, Yeah, Nancy had to come to my place again, and I had to talk her down. She’s talking about leaving Chris…

Alternatively, it would be, Chris and Nancy had another thing…yeah, it’s kinda bad right now…

Johnny sadly succumbed to his own early death, aged 40, on February 16th, 2006. Now, towards the end of his life, Johnny’s wife – and her entire family – became born-again Christians. Therefore, the whole service at Johnny’s funeral was something along the lines of, ‘Johnny found the Lord,’ and ‘Johnny is with the Lord now.’

I wasn’t planning on speaking there, but I got up and said, Look, I hope Johnny is with the Lord now – and I believe that he is. But nobody has gotten up to talk about Johnny Grunge – the lovable guy. The guy who would give you the shirt off his back. The guy who loved to laugh and play ribs on people.

I noticed I was getting some dirty looks as I spoke.

He wasn’t perfect in a lot of senses, I continued. He was far from perfect, but that’s one of the things that made him so lovable. He kind of knew that. He played it up…

My God, his entire family became enraged. In the moment, I can’t say that I cared that much. I was going to say my piece on behalf of my friend, and I didn’t really worry about what came of it.

The bottom line is this: if Johnny Grunge was still alive, none of what occurred would have ultimately transpired. I honestly believe that. I’m convinced that regardless of what led up to that terrible weekend, Nancy would have run out, gone to see Johnny, had a few drinks, come home, and then Benoit would probably have done the same. Two days later, all three of them would probably have laughed it off.

That kind of stuff had happened before.

When Grunge passed away, however, there was nowhere for them to go.

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WWE’s Tribute to a Killer: Media Frenzy and Institutional Denial

Back on that fateful day – once Jarrett woke me up with the devastating news – the first person I called was Kevin Sullivan. Nancy still meant a lot to Kevin – despite of everything that happened – and even though Kevin had moved on with his life, those feelings never totally go away. In general, the more time that goes by, the more that you remember the good – and the more you forget the bad. I figured that was probably the case for Kevin too, in terms of how he chose to remember their relationship.

In the blur of everything, I vaguely remember Kevin and I having a brief conversation, and then – well, then it started.

The insanity of the next few days.

First, WWE – with the circumstances of the tragedy still unknown – ran a tribute show for Chris on Monday Night Raw. In an eerie coincidence, the company had just run an angle where Vince – under the guise of his on-screen persona, ‘Mr. McMahon’ – had ostensibly perished in a limousine explosion. That all went out the window at the top of the show, however, as McMahon addressed an empty American Bank Center from the ring:

“Good evening. Tonight, this arena here in Corpus Christi, Texas was to have been filled, to capacity, with enthusiastic WWE fans. Tonight’s storyline was to have been the alleged demise of my character, Mr. McMahon. However, in reality, WWE superstar Chris Benoit, his wife Nancy, and their son Daniel are dead.

“Their bodies were discovered this afternoon, in their new suburban Atlanta home. The authorities are undergoing an investigation. We here in the WWE can only offer our condolences to the extended family of Chris Benoit…and the only other thing we can do at this moment…is tonight pay tribute to Chris Benoit.

“We’ll offer you some of the most memorable moments in Chris’ professional life, and you will hear tonight…comments from his peers…his fellow performers…those here who loved Chris and admired him so much. So tonight will be a three-hour tribute to one of the greatest WWE superstars of all-time. Tonight will be a tribute to Chris Benoit.”

As Vince indicated, highlights from Chris’ career were played throughout the night, interspersed with tributes from various wrestlers and company officials. For the most part, everybody talked glowingly about Chris on camera, as up until this point, he had been viewed as something akin to a singular talent. But one of the statements which made air during that episode has been talked about endlessly ever since. Steven Regal (who went by William Regal in WWE) struck a noticeably different tone – relative to most everyone else that night – during his own televised comments:

“At a later date, I’d be happy to sit here and tell you all things about Chris Benoit that I’d like to tell you and…

“But…now all I’m willing to say is that Chris Benoit was undoubtedly the hardest working man in professional wrestling. The most dedicated and totally absorbed in the business of professional wrestling…above anybody I’ve ever met.

“And that’s…all I’ve really got to say at the moment. He was the absolute best.

“Thanks.”

In my opinion, at the time that Regal gave those comments on the apparent tribute show, I believe he knew – or at least had a feeling that Chris, Nancy and Daniel hadn’t been murdered by someone else. In the interest of fairness, I should mention that Regal has consistently denied that was the case, and he reiterated his stance in a 2022 interview:

“There is a piece of film footage on the night after the incident where…we were doing a show…and there is an interview with me and…people read into this very wrongly, and the consensus that seems to be out there is that I knew more than what was happening. I want to just take this time to put my story out there and let people know this is…because this story is out there, it’s just that it seems to be that nobody wants to pay any attention to it…and they want to sensationalize this into something that isn’t.”

As the ‘tribute’ show went on, I remained convinced that what I thought happened was likely what had actually happened. There were a few of us who believed that, by the way. Everybody thought that it was a tragedy, but as I’ve gotten to know more people who knew Chris and Nancy at that time, I realized that I wasn’t alone in my thinking. Knowing what I knew – and seeing what I saw – it was absolutely clear as day.

The day after that Raw show aired, reports began to emerge with the horrifying reality of the situation. Chris had killed Nancy, we all learned, before killing Daniel and then himself.

In a pre-recorded statement before WWE’s ECW show that night, McMahon delivered a vastly different set of remarks:

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Last night on Monday Night Raw, the WWE presented a special tribute show recognizing the career of Chris Benoit. However, now some 26 hours later, the facts of this horrific tragedy are now apparent. Therefore, other than my comments, there will be no mention of Mr. Benoit’s name tonight. On the contrary, tonight’s show will be dedicated to everyone who has been affected by this terrible incident. This evening marks the first step of the healing process.”

Almost as soon as the news broke, media organizations started reaching out to those of us in the business. In many cases, I don’t even know how they got our numbers. Dateline NBC was offering to pay us to do an interview, looking for any nugget of information that would prolong the media firestorm. 48 Hours on CBS contacted me three times for a story. Before long, CNN’s Nancy Grace was going hard on the wrestling business for causing the tragedy. She even asked questions of guys which revealed she had no idea about what she was talking about. "I know that Chris Benoit had gone from the elite, the Four Horsemen, down to Raw," she quizzically stated, to Bret Hart of all people, apparently now grasping at straws. "And that was a little bit of a demotion," she claimed, even though the timeline, context or details involved in her statement made absolutely no sense. She still had a question in there regardless: "How badly do you think he took it?"

At the time, Fit Finlay was working for WWE, and he told me that he was going to speak about things with Grace on an upcoming show. On the Internet, it was reported that WWE had prepped Fit for "two weeks" in advance of the appearance. Nonetheless, I didn’t think it was a good idea.

Don’t do it, I told Fit over the phone.

It’s a set-up.

And a set-up it was.

During his appearance, Fit was deliberately put up against Marc Mero while simultaneously, having his defense of the business lambasted by Grace:

Finlay: We are a big industry that travels the world. We entertain people, and people love us and, unfortunately, one of our guys went wrong. And that has never, ever happened before. Whether you say it was steroids or not…

Grace: Mr. Finlay, Mr. Finlay…

[Crosstalk]

Grace: With all due respect, you’re saying there’s not a problem. Elizabeth, please roll the list of wrestlers dead before their time – almost 100!

Finlay: Okay.

[Crosstalk]

Grace: There’s more than just one person dead. Yes, well…make your point! Make your point!

Finlay: I’ll tell you my point. You read that list, and those people, a lot of them, died of different causes – not drugs and not steroids. Only five on that list…five died while under contract with the WWE…

Grace: Mr. Finlay! Mr. Finlay! Mr. Finlay – weren’t all of them pro wrestlers, whether WWE or some other wrestling organization? Yes, no?

Finlay: Yes. But is it only wrestlers that die?

Grace: …Marc Mero, response?

Mero: Well, you know, first of all, it’s an industry problem. It’s not just a WWE problem. It’s a professional wrestling problem. And I want to mention something…

Grace: Wait a minute, I think both of you are coming from a different direction from me. I’m coming from the direction of Nancy Benoit and that little boy. He is dead now, and you can’t tell me that there’s ‘nothing wrong’ with a home stockpiled with anabolic steroids and painkillers.

Mero: Absolutely.

Grace: You can’t tell me it’s not wrong for Johnny Grunge to be getting hundreds of pills – hundreds of pills – 70 pills a day from a doctor.

Finlay: That’s not what I’m saying.

Grace: It’s prevalent in wrestling, and it’s not okay. People are dying!

Finlay: No, it’s not. No, it is not, and we’re not advocating what Chris Benoit had done, and no one else on this planet will, and that is wrong to suggest that. It was wrong – totally wrong, and…

Mero: Nancy, I’d like to say…

Finlay: Go ahead.

Mero: You know, I’m an advocate for change, and the list of [dead] wrestlers that I’ve wrestled is 25. Where would you find anybody my age that knows 25 people that died – unless you’re fighting the war in Iraq?

Grace: Let’s address Mr. Finlay’s point, because it’s legitimate. When you say 25 dead…dead of what?

Mero: Well, I mean, when you look at my list, let’s talk about it.

Finlay: …Marc, if you go down your list, you know that all of those people did not die of steroids. You know it. So don’t…

[Crosstalk]

Finlay: That’s what you’re portraying…

Grace: Gentlemen…

Finlay: … to this country – that everybody in wrestling is on drugs!

Over on Fox News, a Hannity and Colmes segment similarly put the heat on ‘roid rage’. Contemporaneously, there had been congressional hearings into the steroid scandal in baseball, and judging from the segment, it appeared that one of the show’s contributors was angling for something similar:

Karen Hanretty: Let me ask you a basic question about the industry: do you think that wrestling is a legitimate sport, along the lines of baseball?

Kevin Nash: Absolutely not! It’s entertainment.

Hanretty: So, so, so…there should…okay…so, because…baseball players have had to go before, and testify before Congress. Do you think that the…wrestling pros and that the association should be required to [do the same]? If there’s some sort of legislation…if you’re any sort of example to these high school and college kids who are out there. Do you have any responsibility to actually follow the law, and should we just let your industry off the hook because you’re…as you call it, ‘merely entertainment?’

Nash: No, I think that if you break the law, you break the law – it doesn’t matter where you are. The thing is…there’s no toxicology [report yet]. All this is speculation…I just think it’s so ‘sexy’, and it’s such a media craze…

Hanretty: …As you sit here and deny that you’ve ever seen any ‘roid rage’, which also seems to kind of stretch credibility…

Nash: Have you ever taken steroids?

Hanretty: No – I have not taken steroids!

Nash: I’m just saying. You’re doubting my credibility. I’ve taken them – and I haven’t seen it. I know that’s not what you wanna hear!

Personally, I never thought about taking any of the offers to talk that were floating out there. I didn’t want to say anything about it, and besides, I didn’t feel it was my place. Beyond that, I just felt horribly somber about the whole situation. I went to Nancy and Daniel’s funeral in Daytona Beach, and it was just so, so sad – as sad as I’ve ever seen.

The Unexplainable Horror: Unanswered Questions

Around this time, I started getting calls from Chris Jericho, and he was in a bad place mentally. Most people were, quite frankly, but with Jericho being so close to Benoit, it hit him especially hard. We stayed on the phone for hours at a time.

Over and again, I tried to explain to Jericho why I felt the way that I did, and why I wasn’t shocked at learning about the real circumstances. Jericho couldn’t believe that I held the opinion that I had. It really tore him up to think that Benoit was even capable of something like this, and he fought back tears listening to my continued explanations. Jericho never saw it coming, obviously, but like I said, I got a secret view into a life that was hidden from most people. It was a very small view, sure – in the grand scheme of things – but it was enough to know that stuff was going on in that home.

With that being said, I simply cannot get my head around what happened to Daniel. That part absolutely blows my mind, and I’ll say this, for what it’s worth: I thought that both his parents adored that boy. I can’t even imagine what state of mind Chris had to be in – to do that to his own son.

Everyone tries to come up with an explanation in their own minds, you know: Maybe that POS didn’t want his son to live after he killed his mom. I guess it’s human nature to try and explain the unexplainable, but none of us looking at the situation could ever get to that place mentally – to wherever the hell Chris was in his head.

Maybe some people wanted to explain it away in their own minds, if that makes sense. A lot of the attempted sense-making revolved around a claim that Chris had some serious brain damage. Well, he might have – but I never bought that as a reason. Think about it: every week, he packed up his bag, confirmed his travel, went to the airport, got on a plane, got off the plane, rented a car, got to the next town, wrestled his match and went on to the next show – 52 weeks a year. I think that someone would have noticed if he was cognitively unable to do any of those things.

I just don’t buy that head trauma was the cause of what happened. Sorry, I’m not buying that line of thinking, and I’ll never buy it as long as I live. Let me just give it to you straight: Chris Benoit was a very disturbed person who was very good at hiding it, and because he was so good at what he did – being one of the top professional wrestlers in the world – people didn’t want to see it.

There was always something a little bit off about him. I’ve talked about this before, but I remember the time Benoit secretly took a set of car keys away from Juventud Guerrera at the bar, and how Benoit enjoyed not smartening Juvi up about it. He wouldn’t end the rib far past when he should have, and when I asked him if it was time to end it, he had a look in his eyes that just wasn’t right. There were other weird things that now, in retrospect, kind of add up too. Jericho called them ‘chinks in the armor’ – these little inconsistencies that would shatter whatever image Benoit tried to project.

Above all, one particular aspect of the story still haunts me to this day – that Daniel got caught up in whatever terrible issues his parents were having. Now, could I have seen Chris and Nancy getting into a knock-down-drag-out, so to speak, and then could I have seen Chris snapping on her? Unfortunately, yes – that wouldn’t have surprised me at all. I can see that part clearly like daylight.

If I had to guess – and God, believe me, this is purely guessing on my part – I could see her threatening to leave him. I could see her packing up her bags, and then him turning around and committing the ultimate sin. It still would have been unspeakably awful, but terrible domestic incidents happen in our world. Several years ago, there was even an incident in my town where someone snapped after a domestic dispute, and then he ended up getting in a high-speed chase with the police. It finished with this person colliding head-on with another vehicle and dying in a car crash.

Without exception, though, everyone who knew the people involved had a very hard time – and continue to have a hard time – with the notion of Daniel being involved. I’m not saying people weren’t upset about Nancy, by the way – everybody was floored by that. She was a wonderful person. It was just more upsetting in people’s minds that Chris took it to the level that he did. People can at least comprehend snapping after fighting in the home, but to do that to a completely innocent child…there are no words.

Haunted Artifacts That Symbolize a Broken Community

I can’t believe it’s been 17 years [at the time of writing] since all of this happened. Aside from some mentions of his results and listings in title histories and so forth, WWE moved quickly to remove all past mentions of Benoit. The ‘tribute’ episode was pulled from international markets, and during the time of its WWE Classics programming, the company scrubbed any and all references to Benoit – whenever possible, that is (it couldn’t have been an easy task, I would imagine, given the length of Benoit’s career, and how many high-profile events he was involved in).

Those policies have changed in recent years, although WWE – still to this day – has never done anything to actively promote Benoit’s career. "It’s not right to pretend he didn’t exist," said Vince McMahon in an edition of WWE Magazine. "It’s one thing to include him as part of a historical perspective, which I believe is okay, and it’s another thing to promote him, which is not okay. The situation is very similar to that of OJ Simpson – despite his controversy, OJ was still a part of the NFL scene. You can’t deny that he existed."

I know there are some people who can separate the man from his disgusting actions; the wrestler from the real person. Some people can go back and watch his matches, for example, without thinking too much about where things ended up. I don’t judge them.

But I can’t.

I don’t watch that stuff. Look, I’m not going to argue with people who see it differently – and I’m not even saying I’m right, by the way. It’s simply my personal choice to avoid doing anything to remember him – in any way, shape or form – and to avoid ever putting him on any kind of pedestal again. I don’t think he should go into the Hall of Fame. I don’t think they should ever mention his name. I don’t think he should be remembered in any kind of positive way. I’ll say it one more time, just for the record: he was a very sick guy.

A lot has been said about the impact of Benoit’s actions on the wrestling business, but in my opinion, I don’t think it left a tarnish on the industry. Now don’t get me wrong – there was a tarnish on the business for a time, but I would argue that much of it was media hype. Just like MSNBC loves to trash one side of the aisle – and Fox News does the opposite – the same games took place in the wake of the Benoit tragedy. Maybe in 2007, it wasn’t so much about clicks, but it was definitely all about ratings. Furthermore, this was a very unique situation which was arguably rife for exploitation. A popular professional wrestler on TV killed his wife, son, and himself. If you wanted to, you could milk that horror for an unlimited amount of attention. Was it steroids? Was it CTE? What drove this madman to do this? More at 11!

The truth is a little less eye-catching: we’ll just never know. In the intervening period, however, various books, podcasts and documentaries have been produced on the terrible events of that day, and for the most part, it’s too much for me to go back and revisit the details. I remember when VICE TV aired a two-part Dark Side of the Ring episode on the subject, and it was pretty uncomfortable viewing – and that’s to say the least. I think it took me about six months to get through both parts, and Lisa – who sat there and watched the shows with me – was just as uncomfortable as I was.

But wait, she said suddenly at one point.

Hit pause right there.

Like any good husband, I did just what my wife asked – and Lisa went upstairs to the bedroom. Obviously, I had no idea what the heck she was doing. I looked back at the TV screen, and it was a still image of Nancy wearing a pair of earrings. Lisa then returned to tell me what was going on, and as she stood there, I noticed she was holding an item in her hand.

It turns out that years ago – obviously, some time after that still photo on the screen was taken – Nancy lent Lisa those exact same earrings.

They were for a wedding, Lisa explained.

Although Lisa had tried her best, she was never able to return them once Nancy, with Chris, removed themselves entirely from our social group. In addition to the relationships that existed between Chris and the boys, Nancy and Lisa had been good friends too – but soon after that wedding, evidently, Lisa just couldn’t get in touch with Nancy – even for something so simple.

They really did remove themselves, I said, shaking my head as Lisa returned to the bedroom.

They removed themselves from everyone.

We can try and forget about the Benoit tragedy, but it’s still there – somewhere in the recesses of our minds – just like those earrings lay hidden in my home.

Pro Wrestling Stories extends its gratitude to David Penzer and Guy Evans for sharing this harrowingly personal excerpt from their book, “Sitting Ringside, Volume 2: The XWF, TNA, and Life After Wrestling.” For those seeking an unflinching look at wrestling’s most complex tragedies – told by those who lived them – the book is available now on Amazon, with special bundle options also available at GuyEvans.com.

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